Your Domestic Abuse help service

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Don't suffer in silence

If you are in an abusive relationship there are three steps that you can take:

1. Recognise that it is happening to you

Domestic abuse includes all kinds of abuse within a relationship. It can begin at any time and can take on a number of forms, such as physical assault, sexual abuse, rape and threats. It may also include destructive criticism, pressure tactics, disrespect, breaking trust, isolation, and harassment.

Some abusers offer "rewards", in an attempt to persuade their partners that the violence will stop. However, usually the violence will continue and often gets worse over a period of time.

2. Accept that you are not to blame

It is difficult to accept that a loved one can behave in such an aggressive manner, and many people will assume that they are to blame. THEY ARE NOT. No-one deserves to be assaulted, abused or humiliated, especially by a partner. It is the abusers behaviour that needs to change; there are no excuses.

3. Seek help and support

The most important thing to do is to tell someone. For some, the decision to seek help is quickly and easily made. For many the process will be long and painful, as they try to make the relationship work and stop the violence. For some the prospect of leaving the abuser can be as frightening as staying in the relationship. Many people have to try several times to seek help to leave and even after leaving may still be at risk. 

Never be afraid to keep asking for help. If you do not receive the help you need from your confidant, don't give up. Try discussing the situation with someone else.